The last few weeks haven't been good ones for me.
I don't think I got much done at all and I have the feeling that I took a huge step backwards in terms of art because of this.
I'm trying to get back on track somehow, get my life sorted out.
I guess for me it's that instead of having to sort out my life out in terms of other people and such, I have to sort it out with myself. I have very high expectations of myself and having so many things going on at once doesn't help it at all. In the end it just feels like I only get bits and tiny pieces of one of the projects done. However, reducing the amount of projects doesn't work either. It just makes me depressed because it means giving up on an idea I developed, found time investment worthy and already invested time in.
If I drop a project, it always feels to me like it was an even bigger waste of time now that I don't even have the slimmest chance of finishing it or getting anything worthy out of it.
I guess that's one of the reasons why I cling myself to whatever I start and just add to the stack and add and add til at some point I realize that the stuff at the bottom died without me noticing. Of course, that always makes me angry about myself.
I feel like I don't have any sense of planning or organization. Everything is just a blur of wild things, ripping me from one part to the other.
The worst thing is that resistance seems futile. Any means of adding a schedule or some sort of plan or to do list have only worked for maximum a week til I forgot about it again.
It's sort of ironic to think that I can force myself to cling to all these projects but don't have the slimmest chance of getting myself to cling to a schedule.
Not to mention that I always push school aside, even though it should be way more important to me than [link=Shit nobody cares about]my silly little projects[/link].
I just hope that you can do better than me.
Don't take me as an example.
You'd ruin your life.
Anyway….
I know I haven't posted anything for quite some time now, but I have been drawing some stuff even if it's very little sadly. I never got around to do it or just didn't feel like it so yeah… I'll see that I catch up with that asap.
I'll also see that I blog more again, just to have something to spout my mind out at and to distract from my loneliness.
That's it for now…. have a chill day like cool guy here:
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4txVqr1eNwc[/youtube]
Written by shinmera